2010 Recap

Where has this year gone right? I feel that I always say that every year. But it is true. I can't believe I'll be 26 this coming year. SHIT! 4 years away from being 30 and what have I done with my life? Well I guess in order to remind myself I have to write it down. Many things have happened and I guess I have learned a lot this year. I've had some of the best bonding experiences in my life. I'll start with the beginning of this year.

I went to Seattle & Vancouver with some of my favorite people. Rosanna, Christine, and Kayla. I haven't had a massive hangover since then. The cities were beautiful and the trip was one of the best in my life. I had Poutine (pictured above), I had a lot of alcohol, many laughs, drove in another country for the first time, and learned to appreciate the over 21 drinking rule here in the states.... having a bunch of 19 year olds at bars is really annoying. But one of the best things I got from this trip was 3 of the bestest friends ever! I know cheesy but that is true. I can't imagine my life without these girls who have taught me a lot. I can safely say they are family too me.

Speaking of friends, I think this was the year where I realized the value of the friendships I have. I have a friend far away and I think out of all the years we have known each other, this was the year where we got to know each other better. Because of him I have learned a lot about myself. Plus he is an amazing photographer! I don't want to sound weird or cheesy so that is as much as i'll say. :)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/davidoa/

(Hope you don't mind me sharing your Flickr.)

This year we got to move too a new house. After losing our house of 17 years last year, it was nice to go back to our old neighborhood. It felt like home again. Won't say much about this since it still brings me to tears. But it is nice to be back in the hood.

This year I finally graduated! I can now safely say I have a film degree. I have always wanted to do film as long as I can remember. Except for that time when I was 6 and I really wanted to be a lawyer, go figure, I was a weird kid. But after spending so much time studying film and working in the industry, I grew to wonder if I will always want a career in film. And the answer for now is... I want it but maybe not forever. There are so many career opportunities in life, why settle for one field? Who knows at this point, if it is meant to be sure i'll take it. I interned at New Line Cinema and Paramount Pictures this year. I had the opportunity to experience a movie premiere, press junkets, script writing, met Marky Mark, Batman & The Dude. I really got to know myself career wise. I have always been a career oriented person, but now I know that is not my number 1 priority. Not yet. I am still too young too settle for a full time job, especially when there is a world to see! With that in mind, this year I went to NYC!

NYC was pure awesonemess... such an amazing city. Through out my life I always heard about how amazing this city was and I just brushed it off. I am a Californian, so of course I had my judgement about NYC. I would love to live there. But with them dealing with a blizzard, I might want to stay in sunny L.A. (well most of the time sunny, I know it's been cold!) Still I wouldn't mind living in NYC and taking a stroll down Central Park. Thanks Laura for going with me

Of course how can I forget to mention DANISH BALLS! For the first time in my life I had Danish Balls.. well I guess the proper name for it aebleskiver. If you have never had these, you have too. I wish I knew how to make these. Most of you that know me, know that i've spent most of the year talking about Danish Balls.. calling it that has been very humorous and has caused many questions. But I hope most of you know I am talking about food!

I did pick up photography and completed my first script this year. I am hoping to get better at both. This coming year and with that in mind, what do I want this coming year.

Well a new job would be nice, but here is to hoping for it. I am looking forward to a lot this year. Traveling, photography, writing, working, living my life. I know the New Year is a few hours away and the thought of it is exciting (especially as cops and a helicopter fly over my house, some ass tried stealing my neighbors car, can't get more exciting than this!). I guess for many of us a new year is a fresh start and for some another year. Depends on how you see it. The whole point is... it is new. A new chance to do something, to push yourself, to look forward too something new, to aspire to do new things, to make plans. I know all that is on my list. I am hoping for many new and exciting adventures. Hopefully all good things come too all of you. And with that in mind. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Merry LATE Christmas!

I wish I knew how to make my aunts Flan... which I missed out on since I was super full. Shame. I should of just eaten that for dinner the whole time.

I have been super busy over the weekend. Had a good time with my family, friends, and even doggies. Went for a hike, made cookies, played some softball (then got scared by the aggression of men). It's funny how during the holidays you realize the great people in your life. The hugs become enjoyable and the need to see your friends even more so. It was nice to run into old friends and speak to some far away, who I too can't wait too see next year. I have a feeling this coming year will be a good one. And I am going to stay with that positivity. I had a rough year last year and this year was better but still hit a few rough patches. Running has helped me feel better and doing all sort of hobbies have make me really happy. This year also gave me the chance to get closer and to get to know some of my friends even better. There are a few friends I have grown apart from, but when I see them it is nice, normal. Feels fine. And reminds me of the awesome friendships i've built through out the year. Anyway i'll get more sappy later. I am eager to catch up on that show 16 and Pregnant. Yeah I know bad but hey man, makes me glad I did not head that direction!

Anyway here is a shot I took yesterday when I went for a hike, the weather has been good/ bad, mostly bad. At least it was a nice Christmas Eve. Lets' hope New Years is better. With that in mind, MERRY Be-lated CHRISTMAS!

CONAN!

The rain in L.A. has become pure madness. I am so glad it has stopped briefly. I don't think i've ever experienced rain 4 days in a row nonstop. Amazing how water can fall from the sky. We should of at least had some snow fall and make things more exciting. Rain in L.A. is always an experience. I had tickets for a taping of the Conan show today, so I had to get my ass up and head that way. Even with the crazy rain. Part of me didn't want to go but I knew I had too. How can I not?!
We got there by 1:30 and waiting till 3 to head to the studio. Walked through a rain storm into the Warner Bros. lot and then waited. It was awesome! Conan is hot.. i think I would hit it. I wish I had the opportunity to work for an awesome show. I do miss walking through the Warner Bros. lot. But I need to do some new exciting things. Speaking of which, I am going on my road trip in June. It will hopefully be awesome. I have never been on a road trip really. Up too San Fran and Yosemite but that was it. SO this will hopefully be awesome and i'll be in the company of an amazing person and hopefully my other friends join in. I miss my Australian/ American friend. Having her around is guaranteed a good time. I miss our random L.A. dates. Alright I am about to watch a few movies and cuddle up in my bed. It's going to be a cold night!

MAID OF HONOR IN HOT PINK!

Ahhhhh my long time friend from elementary school is getting married and I have been made the maid of honor! THAT SCARES me... no she isn't the one holding the Twilight poster. I just thought that picture was funny... who the hell will take and pose with a Twilight poster on their wedding!? Anyway I am scared to be maid of honor... it is a lot of responsibility and I have to wear hot pink. (Erika if you read this.... you know I love you but hot pink on me is pretty scary!) I am excited for her. I have known Erika since I was 8, it is so weird to see my friends get married and have kids. I guess it is time to grow up. I will be doing my first engagement photos for her. So that should be fun. I hope the pictures turn out all right. Ay dios mio! so much in my mind. I can imagine the stress she will be going through preparing for it... at least ill have red velvet cake! Jesus... me in hot pink haha.

So here I am at work answering phones non stop and being asked the same question... is the lunar eclipse visible... people it is raining, there are clouds... you can't see the moon, so there is nooooooo visibility! Come on... I thought people were smarter. I think the only reason it bugs me it is because it is such an obvious answer that the eclipse won't be visible. I am no science wizz kid, but come on, do you want to stand outside in the rain to see a bunch of rain drops falling on you through a telescope? AND NO there are no magic telescopes that could reach out to outer space through the rain storm from LA. Only NASA has that going on for them... Ok sorry about my rant, i need a real vacation. This rain is somewhat driving me nuts. I miss the sun. OLD SPICE GUY IS HERE!!! AHH haha... wow he really makes any lady's day. I guess this was worth working the observatory tonight.

Although I did have a nice dinner with Violet and Peter. They have known me for so long, I feel that they are the only few people that can understand and support my thoughts. It was nice to catch up with them. And I had awesome chocolate chip pancakes! anyway I should focus on work, a lot of people tonight and the eclipse is about to begin. Plus I need to begin writing my article for the local magazine. Hope everyone is having a good evening, comfortable in your beds. I am jealous. I wish I could be watching King of the Hill right now. My friend just told me to answer all my question with "Sorry for being cranky, all I want to do right now is watch King of the Hill and enjoy my life." hahaha that would be awesome to use.

STOP RAINING!

It has been raining non- stop in L.A. for the past few days and it is actually annoying me! Angelinos suck at driving in the rain, people in this city seem to freak out when water touches the ground. After a small hiatus, I am back to writing on my blog. What can I say about the things that have happened during this break? I went and came back from New York. I still aspire to move there at some point but I think I am so scared to do it that I am stopping myself.

I have finished my internship at Paramount Pictures. It was hard work at it's finest and also a really good time, but now the question for me is, what is next in my life. Do I want to work full-time? Travel? Explore other career opportunities, I really don't know. Maybe I am in my mid- quarter life crisis. I really wish I knew what to do next. The idea of working full-time in an office and being there from 9-5 is a no go for me. I don't think I can even stand still while I wait in line at the bank, let alone at an office. I day dream A LOT, so I am not so sure how an office job would suit me...I love movies, I wish I could work in the industry more, but not an office. So what next? We all need to work, we all need to make money. I need money to travel! But I don't want a conventional job. I am not sure if this makes sense to anyone. I would and should start making short films.

Anyway for now I am hoping something amazing happens next year. Or that god slaps me with an amazing idea or at least a clue to what to do next with my life. I have seen/ experienced a lot. I think the years will start getting better from now on. I hope so. Maybe I should learn how to ride a vespa and go across the country on it. Although a road trip across the West side of the USA is highly possible in June. We shall see. Europe will have to hold off for many reasons. Which is a shame. I was looking forward to going. Been working my balls off all of fall to save money but maybe a road trip would be more life changing.... I hope so.

Blog

I need to get back to this... ill get there soon. Been way too busy. But for now enjoy this lovely picture...

Time

I miss sleep, I miss having time, I miss being lazy. Over the past few days I have been so caught up with work that I have not had time to do anything. Which saddens me but then again my mom brought up a good point... I get ti hang out with celebrities even though I am their bitch for the day! haha. But she has a point, I am sure there are many people who would love to be in my shoes, just to see a celebrity. Speaking of which this week has been a weird one. I'll start with what happened today.

I was working the Screen Actors Guild event and this gentleman approached me and asked me if I was an actress. My answer was no because well as many of you know, I am not. He then offered his opinion and suggested that I should be. This is the 3rd person in a week to tell me that. I wonder if god is throwing me some sign. This guy was awesome to speak with though. He said "Maybe something great is waiting for you". I could use something great. I think I will start something up with acting. At least extra work for now until I think about something new to do. I know I am all over the place, but I am OK with that. It makes my life fun and I get to explore new things. I don't know if I make sense. I feel like I may come across as crazy to some people, so trust me I am super thankful to have my friends around who can handle my personality. Ha, can you imagine how my parents feel?! Anyway, I have always wanted an Oscar.. haha.

Anyway I am beat, but all this hard work will pay off. I am off to Europe for sure in March. Buying my flight in about 2 weeks. I know people always ask me how can I afford it, well I can't. But I am working my ass off for it. I love to travel and I am very lucky that my parents allow me to do it, knowing we need the money. They understand that we only have 1 life to live so why settle? So no I cannot afford it. But if you have a goal and the drive to do something, then it can be done. And living at home also helps a lot. I am happy spending my money doing this. I am a lot happier and I get to see the world. I think after all I have been through I deserve to do this.

No Sleep

I miss sleeping, ALOT. I remember there was a period where I wouldn't wake up till noon. I felt that I deserved to do that because of the many years of school, internship, and work. But now I rarely have the time to sit down and watch TV.

Over the past few days, I have been thinking about my life. I feel that there are still more things for me to do and achive. I know that Journalism would be a field I am most interested on. I know traveling is as well. It is funny, as I mention all these career choices, I can't help but to laugh at the fact that I haven't applied for full time work and at the fact that I am thinking about Cinnabon at the same time. There are job opportunities I qualify for. And it is not that I refuse to apply, but I get rather lazy. The idea of working a full-time job isn't as appealing as I thought. I can't helpt but to feel guilty at the fact that I am not putting more effort. But I have to admit I have a lot going on for me. More than I can handle right now. But it is fine. These part-time jobs of mine, allow me to take time off and travel and explore new hobbies. Speaking of which, I will hopefully soon be writing a new article for the local Magazine in El Sereno. I am very excited. Maybe I will accomplish that goal of becoming a Spanish news anchor. Who knows, but this is what I mean. I am able to continue my passion of writing. I mean seriously who needs a Grad program when you can get your hands straight to the work. Let's not forget i'll soon will be doing some volunteer work walking dogs. It is nice to keep busy, you truly feel that you are accomplishing something. But I do need a vacation and for that I can't wait. Buying my flight in 3 weeks is very exciting! Working 7 days a week, up too 12 hour shifts at times, will finally pay off. See you in March Europe. I hope I have one of the greatest times of my life. I really can't wait to write about that trip as I did for NYC.

Voting

I am sitting here pretty bored in my office. I know I am expected a rush of work in a few. But I hope this doesn't prevent me from voting. It better not! I know it is illegal for an employer to keep you at work if you haven't voted. Ah gotta love America right?

Well with that in mind, America is a land of many things. Maybe not much opportunity anymore but I have to admit we get the freedom to do whatever we want and think however we want. Even if people bring you down with your opinions, you still have the right to say what you think. No one is going to stop you. I have been through a lot recently that should give me every right to be angry with this country. And I am. It has officially been a year since we lost our home. Foreclosure is never an easy thing. Both my parents lost their jobs. The responsibility was a great one that I had to take up. I had to give up studying abroad and moving out. Yeah they aren't big deals, thankfully I still get to travel, but I miss having the opportunity to do both. So who do I blame for all of this... well that is actually a hard question to answer. Mostly banks, the government, myself. But thankfully everything has gotten better again. I think I have some of the best parents in the world. Who completely allow me to flip career goals, to travel, to help me even if it is my dad doing an oil change on my car. HEY! I save some good cash. I guess family is what matters. And I have to give my parents credit for making it in this country not knowing the language or having an education. They have made it, failed, and are reconstructing their lives again.

So with all this in mind, I am glad to be an American, especially a Californian. Our state is going thru some tough shit. But at least we have the sunny days to thank for many happy angelinos. Except when we are stuck in traffic. I am considering something journalism related for a master's. I guess I have my sister and best friend to thank for this suggestion. They find my writing entertaining, so I take it as a compliment. Found a great program at USC for public diplomacy that deals a lot with International Media... I may not get in but I think I have found the right program or at least the right track on what I want to do next. Writing is in my nature and I guess ill be able to do some more of this professionally.

Anyway... last thing, VOTE! Especially us young people... we need to vote because in the next few years it is all us. We will become those adults that will be part of society. And I am sure when we hold up to our responsibility, we can create a wonderful society.

Past and Future

It is funny how much your past can affect your future. With relationships, decisions, careers and so on. Pretty much everything. I was sitting at work thinking about my past and how much it has affected me. I compare past events with current ones, and make quicker judgements based on that. I have only had one relationship in my life. And it was a very hurtful one. I think i hated myself for making this guy seemed the best thing in the world. And when he broke my heart, I was so afraid to explain to the people in my life what happened. I was afraid to be judge. Obviously this has affected me in some way. I am not sure if this person will read this. But I guess this will be a good example.

There is this guy I like now. And I feel bad because I could be treating him better. No I am not an asshole or nor abusive, god no. BUT I am so afraid that he will hurt me the same way the previous guy did. So I always jump into assumptions and always show my insecurities. This is not good. Just this weekend I made another assumption and put my self in a stupid place. Yes I know I need to stop comparing the two of them. They are very different, one actually respects me and is there for me as much as he can. The other left. One gives me hope and is genuinely my friend. The other... well not so much. SO why do I keep comparing? Because my past has affected me so much that my future will be messed up if I don't let it go. They are two different people, one has been there for years, the other is gone. One makes me smile non stop and still gives me the butterflies. The other is no more and never made me feel like that. That should be enough for me to stop. And with all this in mind, I apologize to the man, who I drive nuts sometimes. You may never read this or may. But I am sorry and thankful you are still there. You have proven to me that there are good men out there. And I hope that all this doesn't bite me in the ass. I hope you prove to me that I am wrong for assuming that you and the past guy are the same. I know I can control my emotions but fear still lives within me.

With all this in mind, here is my advice to all those of you that read this. NEVER take your past with you to a new relationship, or new crush, or near your future. It is not going to be the same. I hope that fear won't stop you from meeting someone great or from scaring someone off. I am old enough to realize that and behave like a woman. I know I am learning a lot now. I guess I have this guy to thank, he truly is showing me patience, but I am so sorry to drag him along in this. And I hope one day he can understand, but I guess him still being around should be enough proof that he does.

People in Cars

So today wasn't a bad morning per say. Just a very distracting one. When I was younger I remember that sometimes I would see people cry in their cars. I always wondered why? I wondered if someone in their family died or if they got hurt. But it never occured to me that it could of been heartbreak, something emotional. Growing up you learn that love and emotions and so on cause so much pain. No I wasn't heartbroken today or nor am I in love. But hurt. Even friends can hurt you. And then the question arises, can someone who I care about make me cry? Uh yeah.
I have had many friendships of all kinds. Some friends are still around and some aren't. But I have experienced what I used to see.... crying in my car. And it is funny to put myself in that position and wonder if people driving next to me are concerned, wondering, and relating to me? I am sure people noticed. How could you not? So I would like to write in Spanish for the next segment. I am not sure if it is because it is more personal that I feel more safe to write in spanish, it was my first langauge, anyway here it goes:

Cuando viene a relacciones unas personas actuan mas dramaticas que otros. Aveces el pensamiento de nosotros se pasa y en vez de mejorar las cosas las acemos mas peor. Eso fue exacto lo que paso esta manana. La cosas es que en mi mente yo no creo que sobre reaccione a la situaccion. Pero las cosas que pasan oh se dicen es bastante prueba para mi para reaccionar la menera que fue. Es chistoso como aveces una persona puede acerte sentir la culpable. Cuando en realidad es la culpa de los dos, no nomas yo oh el oh lo que sea. Pero mis sentimientos fueron lastimados, y creo lo que me lastima mas es que no entiende porque. Ala mejor estoy pensando mas de lo que debo, y yo soy la que voy mal. No se. Es dificil. Yo no soy persona dificil de caracter oh terca por decir. Pienso las cosas y trato de ser lo mas honesta y logica que pueda. Pero aveces eso me muerde en las nlagas para atras. Ya no se que acer ni decir. Pero creo que sali mas enojada y triste despues de mi conversacion. A lo menos no estoy confudida. Ni modo asi es la vida y lo uniqo que puede deciar es que las cosas se mejoren.

Speaking of cars, yeah "Here in my car I feel safest of all, I can lock all my doors, if we only all lived in cars"- Gary Numan. He was right! I hope my drive back is a bit better. I need to start running again. At least if I were to cry there it would be for ankle pain.

Comparisons

SO as I sit here exploring through pictures of Zombies and freaking myself out, I started thinking about comparisons. Not because it had anything to do with zombies, but it just proves to you how easily my mind wonders off. By the way, as I was watching pictures of zombies, (new show, Walking Dead on AMC), the light from my back yeard turns itself on. FREAKED ME OUT.... and for some reason the soundtrack to the Social Network fits the scary mood. Go figure, I think I have a wild imagination. OK so going back to what I was going to write about.

Comparisons... I think it is something we can't help ourselves with. As human beings we compare ourselves to other people. Whether in our mind we think they are better or not than us, we compare. And Whether it is a good or bad comparison, it is not good to compare yourself. You start to downgrade yourself. If you start thinking highly of yourself by comparing yourself to someone else, you are judging that person. And well that is mean, but sadly we can't help ourselves. I am no one to preach the word of kindness... I mean I too do it. But it is funny how everyday we compare ourselves to someone. It can be for any scenario. We compare ourselves against others who have better jobs than us or agaisnt people in better relationships. So why do we do it? how does it benefit us? what does it say about us? Well a lot. We do it because we want to make ourselves feel better, does it benefit us? NOPE! And what does it say about us?... we are probably insecure. The whole point is, if there is any point, is that we need too not compare ourselves. Yeah sure that sounds easy and I know it is not. There are so many good people in this world and I don't need to compare myself to them. I am one of those good people in my own way. I don't know if any of this makes any sense.. maybe it is because I am from Los Angeles and live in a shallow world that I notice the many comparisons people make and I myself do as well. But I will say this, comparing yourself to anyone is never good. If I had any advice to give is don't do that.

Ok I am going to now do more important things, stop looking at zombies and watch some south park. I still have a few long weeks of work to go. I can't believe I still manage to wonder my mind off. But I get to buy my EUROPE flight in 3 WEEKS!

How are things in the West Coast?

Over the past few days I have been feeling nothing but tired. All I care about is sneaking in a nap. My weeks have no end. And I work pretty much everyday. I really can't complain, since in a few weeks I shall be buying my flight to Europe and it will be well worth it. I am very much looking forward to it. I haven't even had time to write on here, let alone take pictures or a nice dump in the toilet. Sorry if that sounded wrong but it's pretty true. I can't believe I will be going ot bed soon. The whole point is, I feel a lot more responsible and adult. My family has always been pretty supportive and open minded with all the things I do. My sibilings and I are allowed to be and choose careers in the creative fields. Something most parents hate. But I also feel the pressure to find a full time job. I am sure you have felt pressures from parents. But honestly I don't want a full time job. I want to travel and live my life. After years of being career oritented, focused on school, and not much of a social butterfly, I finally realized to hell with that.... for now. So for the next 4 weeks i'll be working my ass off. But as soon as I get back from Europe i'll figure things out. I rather be poor and happy than miserable. I know ill achieve a lot, I am not worried. I will prepare my application for the DGA program (Director's Guild associaton) to become an assistant director. I guess in some way I am not giving up, but I am not pushing myself. We all need to stop and look around and realized what truly makes us happy. The fact that I can't go for a run as much, makes me sad. SO soon I shall be back on that routine. Anyway, I don't want to sound as if I am only complaining about things. But I hope I am a good example to someone out there that even though you are working hard, the outcome in the end will be worth it. Even if it is the weekend for you that makes you happy, then that should be enough to appreciate. Hey at least you get weekends off... I DON'T! But I am very much looking forward to March and some sleep.

Work Work Work

That is all my life has become, nothing more. Ever since I got back from NYC, I haven't stopped. Neither has the rain, which doesn't make it easier for me to get around. On thursday I got off work at 10pm. SUCKED. I think I shouldn't push myself as much but I did realize, I don't want a full time job. I am even scared to apply to them even though they are not a guarantee for me. Anway one benefit of being stuck in traffic, is watching all the city lights go on at night. I drive down Sunset most of the time to get home. There I can see all the lights of the city brighten up. And it hits me... I am in L.A.! I will get a small break someday and enjoy more time off. But I know all the work and money I am making will be going to my trip to Europe... only less than 5 months away. I've never been much of a saver, but now that I have these plans and goals, I have the drive to save... and even a greater temptation to spend! DAMN!.

I think I have hit my mid quarter life crisis. I normally joke around about it. But this time it is a reality. Just a few days it hit me.. I will be 26 in a few months. SHIT I haven't done much. Although one of my friends did mention, Ted Danson will be 63, so I guess I can't complain. And maybe now it is the time for me to start doing stuff. I still want to go to Grad school and looking more into. But I still want to move, start some new projects, and play the ocassional guitar here and there. I guess with all these ideas playing in my mind, ive felt more lazy to find a full time job. I feel guilty because I should, I have a degree, it's time. What to do right? I miss being a kid.

Anyway for the next 2 weeks I have a booked schedule. Work, friends, and sleep, will take up most of my time. Soon Thanksgiving will be here and Christmas. I love both holidays! Especially because ill do nothing but eat that day. Alright going back to "work", more like day dreaming. Although Interpol is playing outdoors right now and it was awesome to hear them! Too bad their new album sucked balls.

Relationships, singlehood, happiness, love, friendships

I wasn't going to write today or even this early but I am on my break and had a thought. It's funny to see all my friends grow up and get into relationships. They are all well deserving people and it's nice to see them happy. It gives me hope that one day I will feel the same happiness as they do. I am not going to lie, it is weird to be the third wheel at times, but it is nice to see how happy a couple can be. I know many couples of all kinds. I am learning through them. We all seek relationships and love. We all want it. Sometimes we aren't ready for it. Sometimes time isn't on our side. But I think and believe that everyone will get the chance too feel real love and happiness with a companion. It is a nice idea and I am sticking with it. I just hope that I am able to enjoy it sooner than later, but we can't force those things. All we can do is be hopeful. I am single but It doesn't mean I am not loved, family and friends show me much of it and I am grateful. I am single by choice and for my own personal reasons. Some may not understand why I choose to be and some know exactly why. And if you are one of the few that know why... thank you for understanding, I feel very good about my decision. I'll leave it at that before I give myself away. But I will say this, it is very possible that a person you like can respect you and be super awesome. It's hard to come across those good people. Anyway, one awesome thing about love is that even though you don't have that romantic love, you can still feel it through friends, family, even feel it with your pets. Love allows us to remember how human we are. I know I would be an awesome partner and I can't wait to share my life with someone. But for now I am happy too see some of my best friends at their happiest. And thank you for sharing that with me. I know there is more to this subject, but those were my thoughts today after speaking to my friend Brenda. Good luck in your new relationship, I wish you nothing but the best and you give me hope. I told you to give it a chance! Glad you finally are.

YAY! I am free of resposibility!

I just read my email and don't have to cover the desk of an assistant tomorrow. I was honestly dreading it and fearing a huge fuck up. Anyway I was thinking today about the things I wanted to do when I was younger. All the careers and stuff I got into. I am sure many of you had many ideas of what to do when you grew up. I started even thinking how much money had I spent on all these careers options. Although I still very much love my guitars... even though I don't play anymore. I spent quite a lot of money.

SO here is my list of careers I failed to complete.. well not failed, more like, they weren't for me...

1) Rockstar- I got shy

2) Lawyer- When I was in the about 5 years old my mom asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said lawyer. She asked why? And I said because I like to lie.... smart kid ey?

3) Chef- Yeah I can't make my own recipes. I copy others.

4)Figure skater- Uh yeah I live in Los Angeles, what the hell am I thinking.

5) Doctor- failed math. EVERY TIME

6) Disney Theme Park Employee- UH yeah, NO!

I am sure there are more but this is all I could think off right now. Seriously too much imagination going on. Speaking of Imagination, I had a dream about Conan O'Brien... go figure. We were driving along the coast line and he was going to hire me. I saved his career. Haha.. once again.. HUGE imagination going on.

Well I also got back to work at the Observatory. I was actually very happy to go back. Rainy outside though:

It's funny how the rivalry between L.A. and NYC exist. I am one to say Los Angeles is better, but I did truly enjoy NYC. Although when I mention it to family and friends how my trip went. Most are reluctant to say nice things about NYC. Most people say "Yeah it's nice, but do they have grass?" or "Yeah too many people"... both of which are true. But hey you gotta give it a shot. I think one of the things I realized about myself is that 1) I proved myself wrong about NYC and 2) I am open minded. I just think it is funny how we are very defendant upon our city. I do however find it ironic how I have become jaded of Los Angeles. It's not that I don't want to grow old here, I mean I hope I can. And I hope I can grow old, but I am in need of change. I am very much looking forward to traveling some more. It keeps me sane. I can't wait till I am up at the Eiffel Tower, or eating a Bratwurst in Berlin, or riding a bike in Copenhagen. I think after all the hobbies/ career ideas i've had, I have found a real passion in there, traveling. I just hope that it can lead me to a real job, but I can honestly say I am truly happy when I do it. And coming from East L.A., I am lucky to be able to do it. East L.A. is awesome, but we also have that stereotype that we don't aspire to much, so it is nice to break from that mold and to be able to say, "Yeah man I travel, I have goals and dreams and ambition and I've been an intern at Warner Bros, beat that!". But yeah and oddly enough after being that career oriented, I don't mind working part time. I don't want a full time job, because right now I am allowed to travel and be more free spirited. I am actually enjoying life and it has taken me a long time to realize that. And now that I have realized it, I am going to try and enjoy it.

BTW... this is the weirdest woman i've ever seen.. I don't think anyone should take any advice from her... but this is pretty funny. I guess anyone can write a book....

Back to a Routine

I am sure many of you have heard this song called "Like a G6".. well here is the original version and it's actually pretty catchy!

Ok so I am back in Los Angels and it is actually as cold as it was over in NYC. I guess it makes sense it is Oct. By 8am I was cruising down Sunset Blvd.. I know it sounds cool... but I wasn't going to do anything far too exciting. I went back to work at Paramount and woah man, did I remain busy the whole day! I am genuinly tired. When I was sitting in the office of one of the publicist I noticed that she had one of the coolest views out her window. As I sat there, I noticed the Hollywood sign right behind her. And I couldn't help to think how people from all over the world come here to see that sign. To see our city... I am glad I am from here but I think as the day went on the more I kept thinking about having a life in NYC. I missed L.A. and I know we have so many things going on. But I think I am ready to move away. Maybe I should wait a little and see how things go. Life is weird, anything can happen, I mean I might write the greatest thing ever that would lead me to fame. Or I might not. The whole point is, even though I feel ready and think it is a good idea to move away, I should hold off. But I think regardless of wherever I go, if I go anywhere, i'll always come back here.

I have been looking into a few grad programs and found some stuff I liked. There is the International Business Communication program and then I discovered this awesome program. International Fashion Marketing and Product development at The Fashion Institue of Design here in Los Angeles.... UH it sounds bloody amazing. Not so different from my career but a bit more exciting. While in the program you travel to Europe and Asia for 9 months as you attend classes. I know I sound like my thoughts are all over the place, but I am 25 years old. I think I am still young enough to explore and do things. We have about 40 plus years of our lives dedicated to work. I don't think we want to settle for just one thing. So I might do it. It is epensive but when there is a will there is a way. Working for a fashion magazine or even starting my own would be amazing. I know many of you have known me for years and may think... here she goes again. But I have the creativity part of my brain over ruling the rest of it. I just know that I don't want to be in an office. Speaking of which I am covering for the assistant of Paramount's VP Publicist and I am scared shitless that I will screw up. Ugh. I hate responsibility.... Anyway I like rainy L.A. or even sunny L.A. but I can't wait till I am back on a plane going somewhere new.... at least I manage to find some Jazz and loving it. I am wrapped in a blanket listening to Jazz as a write.. can't really complain.

Going back to Cali

Last day in NYC. While waiting for our shuttle, we took a walk out to Columbia university. It was a small walk but at least I got told by some pervy guy I was sexy... I was complemented on my last day in NYC. Even though I am not sure I appreciated it.

Our ride back to the airport was one hella of a trip. I don't feel the need to go to an amusement park anymore. Like Laura said, it felt like the end of the Freddy Kruger movie where he is driving the school bus into hell. Not only did I get the chance to hear about the bum peeing in the middle of daylight while waiting for a red light (thank god I didn't see it!), but our ride there was amazing. These drivers here do not believe in laws or lanes for that matter. It really takes a skill when it comes to driving here. Once we got to the airport, we thanked our lucky stars we got here alive. I just hope i haven't forgotten how to drive or start driving like a New Yorker. That shit won't roll well in Los Angeles. By the way it is so weird how there are no Mexicans in NYC, well none that we met. Hearing the Puerto Rican accent was awesome nonetheless. And I realized how I sing to every song in almost every location. I guess my brother was right, I can be embarrassing. I sing everywhere, so if I am hanging out with you and I start singing and you don't like my serenation to you, please tell me to stop. Cause I won't and for all I know I can be singing some Spice Girl song.

I made it back to Los Angeles. And it is nice to be back, weird I must say. I am not ready for work tomorrow and I am 3 hours ahead of everyone here. By the way I am never sitting next to a couple. All they do is complain. Shit good thing I had headphones and got to enjoy some Jersey Shore... I know terrible! But trust me it beats out hearing women tell their boyfriends what not to eat.

Leaving NYC, I got a weird feeling in my stomach and no it was not diarrhea. But a feeling of not being done with this city or of not ready to go back home and go to work. It is funny how to some people my life sounds exciting. It is!... sometimes. But I know one of the first things I am going to do tomorrow morning is go for a coffee run and massive paperwork. Sigh. Everyone in the world has a routine. Some people hate monday morning (Which by the way I love because it is my only day off). Some people drive all day or are on phones. Others go to school and hate their classes. But we all look forward to a vacation or at least something semi different from what is part of our lives. It can be having the company of a family or friend who you have not seen in a while and is visiting, it can be having dinner at a new restaurant, it can be going to Disneyland, as long as it is new and different from our routine. So i guess what I am trying to say is that regardless of wherever you are, we all pretty much lead similar lives. And we all want something exciting. Being up at the Rockefeller and seeing the night sky, reminded me that we all pretty much see the same sky, the same moon, the same planets (Which if you didn't know I think Jupiter, Saturn, and Venus are visible). So whether you are in NYC, Australia, Mexico or even Denmark, you and I are seeing the same night sky. Leading similar lives and wanting the same things. And in some way we rely on each other to make our lives exciting. For all you know, I might be one of the people that changes your life in some way, or you might change mine. I guess it is a small world.

Alright, for all of you who have been reading this, thank you. I love hearing that you guys are reading. Writing to me is a passion and I enjoy it. I love writing scripts, stories, random thoughts. I write in scratch paper, receipt paper, in back of business cards. Anything. SO please do continue reading. Plus Los Angeles is full of adventures and European trip will be coming soon! I am excited to see what more is to come as well. And will continue to write on a daily basis. I might make a book and call it the Vagina Chronicles...

Vacation over

"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one". Growing up with the Beatles, being here was amazing. And sad. But I think what made it more amazing is seeing all the people from all over the world there. Everything i've seen on TV about NYC has become a reality for me. I have to come back here. Today we did a lot as well. The pain in my ankle has started kicking in. I mean it sucks but thank god it happened after all of this was done. What an awesome time I had here. I can't wait to come back. Even thinking of moving here for a bit but I won't know any of that till I REALLY think about it. I think i'll miss L.A. too much, but we all have to overcome the home sickness. I shall see.

By the way the picture over here is the Dakota.... If you don't know what this place is, i'll sum it up briefly...

John Lennon used to live here. And for you movie buffs, Rosemary's baby was filmed here as well. And man this place was full of tourist and a band jamming out Beatles music. But still awesome to see in person. I think I have taken over a gazillion pics. It's going to take me a while to upload. Plus as soon as I get back I have a week full of work, including the weekend. :( Sigh. Since I work near Ameoba records, one of the first things I am going to do is look for JAZZ. If you have any recommendations please give them to me. I think I have fallen in love with Jazz, blues, and swing music.

Ok brief sum of what we did today, Central Park, the Met, Natural History, Strawberry Fields, Harlem, Midtown, Burger Joint, and Time Square (Yes again, I had to get my mom a sweater). God I am a not a fan of time square. WAY too many people. It makes L.A. feel very empty. By the way, why are the Roman and Greek sculptures of men, consist of them having tiny private parts? Just curious, if you know the answer, please tell me in private, I would like a discussion haha... Saw too many of those today.

The Burger joint was really good. It is in the most oddest locations, a fancy hotel, behind a curtain. I felt like I was going to a strip club for a minute there. And yes it was good, but honestly In and Out still takes the cake. Not only is it cheaper but damn good as well. Don't get me wrong this place was tasty (Ha, who uses the word tasty?) But In and Out is a Californian thing and I am sticking to my guns on it.

To be honest I am saddened that this trip has come to an end. I wish I could stay longer. But now I am very much looking forward to my trip to Europe and another trip back to NYC next year. Going back to a routined life is boring but I know all my work and pay goes towards me seeing new places in the world. And I can't complain, it is a privilege to be able to travel. One things this trip has encouraged me to do is explore L.A. more. Although I know a lot about my city, I think I want to go around and enjoy my city a bit more. I mean if I was a resident of NYC I would probably be saying all sorts of awesomeness about Los Angeles. East L.A. here I come.... back that is.

AY Dios MIO!

So I texted my brother if he wanted anything from NYC, his response was " I don't want anything from New York, It is all about L.A.". So the rivalry lives. And he is right. NYC is awesome. But it is all about L.A.! So for you readers out there, we need to appreciate our wonderful city a bit more. And if you have never been here, you need to get here ASAP! Meaning Los Angeles. OK enough of that....

Today was a very busy day and I am pooped out. From Brooklyn, to 42nd street, to East Village, to the Rockefeller, Uptown and everything in between we got a lot done. I was so tired I told the guy at the front desk good morning at 11pm at night. It was very innocently. Laura and I could not stop laughing our balls off and had a hard time climbing up the stairs. Let me tell you briefly about out day. It was more well planned out. Had AMAZING cheesecake and my feet hurt more than ever. I guess running for me will be out of the question for at least a week. I have taken way too many pictures and can't wait to upload them! Oh we were going to tried and get SNL but there was no live taping today! UGH! Anyway we went up to the Rockefeller and had the chance to see an amazing sunset. I wished I worked at NBC. I love views. I love going up to the highest points of cities and just breath the air. After, we had awesome dinner in so ho near East Village and then got the chance to a Metro lady worker get it on with a local. Highlight! And with that in mind, our train back to our hotel was CLOSED! ASSES. It took us forever to get back. As my brother kept texting me, L.A. is better. Finally we get to our destination. We ended up near central park and started heading our way. I must say it was scary, i think we eneded up in the hood. And then some guy tried picking up on Laura. Aww it reminded us of our hoods. Sigh. Haha. Men are pretty much the same here as over there. Now we are back in our room and getting ready for bed. Tomorrow the MET, the Natural history, strawberry fields, Central Park, and some more randomness. As of right now I hope I can come back here next year. Anyone interested??? i know you are Jess!

One more thing, mexican parents are funny. Laura and I kept discussing how some children are very spoil. It is not that our parents don't care about us, but they are very... well.... it's either sink or swim with us. For example, early in the morning there was a colgate commerical about a new toothpaste for "big kids".... WTF?! You know mexican parents would tell you this about toothpaste for "big kids".... "Pinche cabron, big kids my ass, ponte a trabajar y para de chingar". Yeap, I love my culture. One more full day in NYC and vacation is over. Sigh, can't wait till more vacation!

I just had a butt cramp

Wow today I am in pain! I guess your feet do hurt a lot after walking all day. People in NYC are actually really nice. Luckily! So I won't jinx myself anymore regarding that. But It has been a pleasure knowing some New Yorkers. We went to the Hudson River, Greenwich Village, The time square, west village, empire state building, chinatown, little italy, So Ho, No Ho, Flatiron, world trade center. The world trade center was a very surreal and emotional thing. I cried and remembered that day like yesterday. Proud to be an American nonetheless. I know it sounds cheesy, but it is true. And proud to be a caring human being. I really wanted to go to a Jazz club but that was a bust. Hopefully sometime in the future I will enjoy some Jazz. Oddly I have heard L.A. has a few good clubs. So one of the first things I am going to head into when I get home and have time.

I wouldn't mind living here, I can see myself riding the subway everyday, I have a fear though that I will forget how to drive. But I can totally see myself fit in. Although I think I would always come back to Los Angeles. Even saying Los Angeles brings a smile to my face. It is home. I know we have so many issues, recession, traffic, assholes, more traffic, but it isn't so bad. We have beaches, mountains, an awesome music and movie scene, museums, history, lovely weather! So L.A. isn't bad but I will hopefully one day explore somewhere different. One thing for sure though, I am not looking forward to going back to work. Even though I work at a movie studio part- time, I like not waking up to go there or work in general! I can't believe after planning NYC in July, here I am. When I get back I shall be getting things for Europe in mid march ready, Copenhagen, Denmark, Berlin, Germany, Vienna, Austria, and Paris, France! All to which I have not been too. I think traveling gives me the necessary breathing air and breaks I need from my routined life. Anyway tomorrow another busy day, Brooklyn, Rockefeller, Radio Music City hall, Junior's cheesecake and whatever else we can fit in there. The days are going by fast and I am sure I will come visit NYC again. Ok my ass and feet are sore, but it was well worth it. Goodnight and Good day everyone. Thanks for keeping up with my blog. Hopefully it is not too boring.

REAL NY PIZZA!

I never thought I would actually eat a delicious slice of NYC pizza. It actually is not a major difference than the ones in L.A. BUT I am in NY, so there is more to it. OK let me start at the beginning of my day... Waking up at 4 am is no fun whatsoever! I was very nervous to fly, hoping that nothing would go wrong. You know, praying to baby jesus that all things go well.

Getting to the aiport and checking in was easy. Of course time flew by and next thing I knew, we were boarding our flight. Sadly, Laura and I had to sit away from each other. I sat next to a couple, who the girl would not stop PUKING the entire flight. And Laura sat near two crazy ladies, fighting with each other. And some guy from a far yelled, "this is going to be a long flight". I could't sleep since the woman kept jumping over me. So I enjoyed some Teen Mom. Landing wasn't too bad. It was amazing to overlook the entire city as we landed, I had a smile on my face and couldn't wait to explore. I was also more fearful to get lost but I was confident it would all go well. And it did! It was amazing to be at the train station. JUST LIKE THE MOVIES! So many people, it reminded me of the metro station in Mexico. So much traffic and too many human beings under ground. Although I must say, getting around with our luggage was a challenge. No elevators, I think I literally lost 5 pounds and build muscle on my right arm. It was awesome though, it really felt surreal for me.

We finally arrived to our destination. It has been raining all day here. We are now at a hotel instead of the hostel we were meant to stay. They upgraded us because of some issues with the hostel, eviction and too many europeans (No offense European friends out there). It is all good, we have a private room and paid no more. So tomorrow we shall wake up early, go to Clinton St. Bakery (Thank you David O. Andersen for the recommendation! I am looking forward to trying it!) and finally explore. The rain should calm down by then. Right now Laura is shaving her pits and I am enjoying some starbucks as I watch My big fat greek wedding.... all in all... I AM IN NYC!

Stress and Pleasure

Why is it that when you are about to go on vacation you stress out the most. It can be over toothpaste or money, or your Dad making a fool of himself. All these things before I go to NYC. I actually might never want to come back now. Sometimes we need to get away to breath a little. Even if it is in another city. The whole point is, we are getting away from it all! From our lives in our hometowns. I admire people that move far away. I think I might do the same next year. I am giving L.A. a year more. See if I do decide to go on with grad school. Or maybe i'll move to Germany and enjoy and actual Oktoberfest? Let's see how NYC is. The possibilities are endless right now.

OK going back to trip details. I am excited to go. I shall be leaving to the airport in a few hours. I think I am far too excited to sleep. But I should sleep. There is some lovely swedish coffee waiting for me in the morning. I think I am more excited about that right now.

Alright I am keeping this short. Off to get some sleep because ill be up by 4am. I shall be writing from NYC. I think first thing we are doing is catching dinner and then a house band. It is going to be raining :( Hopefully not too much. I need to catch some cool photography from Central Park! L.A. I love you but let's see how NYC competes. And what all the fuzz is about.

Long Day!

Literally, I was at work at Paramount till 7pm... mind you, I had been there since 9am. So overall a busy day. I didn't even get to pee! Because I was so busy I forgot. Ha! They say you aren't supposed to take pictures in any studio. That I know but I couldn't help to sneak this one in as I went on a coffee run. In the world of the smart phone and Iphone, it was bound to happen. Today I was invited to the Jackass movie premiere. Well not invited, asked to work it. And of course I would of loved to have been there, but I was already scheduled at my other job, sigh. I hope I can work Megamind... then I can literally say I met Brad Pitt!

So I have started packing for NYC today.

Well sort off... I really haven't gotten much done. I think I rather take a nap and deal with it later. I can't believe I am going to be boarding a plane in less than 2 days. I don't think I was this excited to go to Seattle or Vancouver, but this is bloody NYC! If it isn't L.A., NYC is the next best thing in the U.S. Sorry I have to stick to my hometown. Plus we have more open space, which I am sure it isn't so bad. So what to take?

- Underwear for sure

- socks

- Pants

- umbrella

These are very random :/. First thing I want to do over there is eat pancakes! I believe Clinton Street Bakin Co. Will be my pancake stop. I expect a lot of walking, but since I am used to hiking, I hope it is not too much pain... It should be fine. One thing for sure though, you have to go to NYC with style. Whatever that means, I think I have been watching too much Sex and the City.

I finally have made an appointment with an advisor regarding an MA in International Business. I am nervous about it. I wonder if I am making the right choices changing career objectives. I just know, I don't want to be an assistant for 5 plus years. But do something more active. I know I am the kind of person that changes their mind often. But we have long lives to live (I hope!), therefore why settle into just one career or one location? I want to do journalism, law, travel, write, talk, fashion, film, and be lazy. So I am sure ill get my hands on all things at one point. Maybe NYC will open my eyes to something new. Or maybe coming back to L.A. will too. Ok I need to pack. I am way too distracted with Facebook and I am going to eat a lovely homemade cupcake....

Growing up

Growing up is hard to do. Right? I have been growing up over the past few months. Much faster than going through puberty. I guess puberty really didn't help. You have to go through life adventures and learn from them, wow that sounded so adult like. With all that in mind I have decided to write down and create a blog. Pretty much for my own self -help. For those of you that don't know me, I am Deissy. Here are a few facts about me:

1) I know Zombies are not real... but some part of me believes they are out there.

2) I am 25, although sometimes I think I am 30... or 40 years old.

3) I talk a lot... A LOT and mostly about nothing.

4) I am a daydreamer, I zone out all the time. It is not that I don't want to pay attention to you, but I have a huge imagination that takes up most of my thoughts.

5) Traveling, if I was rich, or had a sugar daddy, I would do more of it.

6) I am Mexican- American. I hate Beans.

7) Born and raised in East L.A... no I don't have an accent. I actually have very proper pronounciation.

8) I have a film degree and I think I want out of that career......

Now with that in mind, yes I want out of that career. I mean I am sure I am not the only one to become jaded in a field that you love. It is a tough career and I have been lucky to have had some opportunities. But here is the thing. I am in a debate with myself. Grad school for International business or Law (either International or Journalism Law). Or continue with film? Or move away for a bit and figure it out? As of right now, I am seriously living at the beat of my own drum. I realized you can't stress over these things. It will be figured out as time goes by. But being done with college is weird. I am excited to see what is too come. I am able to pick up my hobbies again. I will continue to write scripts. Will they make me famous? I damn hope so! I need money. But for now it is a hobby and a passion. I am off to New York in a few days. I have never been and am far too excited to go! It feels surreal for me to go there. In movies we imagined it a certain way and to be honest I wonder if it is just like the movies. Funny I should know better that not everything in movies are real, I am from Los Angeles... duh! But I can't help it. By the way Los Angeles is not so bad. It has been a series of weird weather but man do I love this city! So the idea of leaving this place one day is scary. But I think I need it in order for me to appreciate it more and know if this is truly home. Ill be venturing out too Europe next year. That shall be further discussed. So here is my first post. Thanks for reading!