The Past few days...

Over the past few days I have been all over the place. Not like a crazy person but literally. I am trying to finish up my grad application due by Friday morning :/. I have to leave to Las Vegas Friday morning. Today was a busy day too. Not sure how I found time to write for this but I guess this is what I was doing as I was trying to kill whatever time I had.

Earlier today I went to the doctor with a friend, lunch with my old bosses from Paramount Pictures, school to pick up my transcripts, home to pee, and then to my friend's house for a photo shoot. Overall I am pooped. I haven't even made an attempt to go running last week. Finally went hiking yesterday but this week i'll get back on track on all things. I guess all this can be considered moving on. No one wants to dwell on their feelings all the time, there is so much more to do for ourselves that if we are ever in a funk, we need to snap out of it ASAP, and move forward. I guess that is one thing I have learn from my last relationship 3 years ago.... no crying over spilled milk! Pretty much meaning, there are bigger things in life to worry about. Yeah gas is $4 bucks a gallon, now that I am worried about. Actually not really... once again things could be worst? And maybe it is time I invest on a Vespa? Imagine driving that shit around LA? I would either get run over or have a blast!

It was nice to see my old bosses. I believe a job position might open up for the Photography Publicity Creative department, for an assistant. And since I mentioned to my bosses that I started photography they are hoping to get me in, if this position opens. Pretty much it means doing photography for our publicity events, sending them out to the media and our website, helping to promote out films further. So here is to hoping and to not thinking about it. Yeah I don't want to get my hopes up so i'll just forget that this was mentioned....

It's nice to be back in the routine of busy. Tomorrow is equally a long day, work, pick up recommendation letters, run, and I don't know whatever else I need to do. I've been so distracted, that I apparently didn't notice this hot guy without his shirt... believe it or not I was thinking about gum. HA!

So what has been going on ey? Last night I went with my friend to the Airport. Random I know, but it's nice to go there and feel like you are going somewhere even though we aren't. I finally had the chance to talk to my best friend about things and felt actually pretty good for the most part of yesterday. Today I feel really good. I have no idea why? haha but I guess it is a good thing. My friend and I were reminiscing on the group of guys we had crushes on. How we had given them nicknames and called them The Strokes. All that hair. We were so lame and shy. Always scared to talk to them, so we used our Drama teacher as a medium of communication. We also used a chalk board to leave messages and when they responded we were always speechless. Haha honestly I am glad to have grown up already, but how could my friend and I forget about the Strokes! I hope they are all doing well, i am sure they loved the attention though. Too bad we were embarrassing ourselves at the same time.

High school was always full of great memories for me. I remember Frau Yancey (my German teacher) calling us turkeys every time we didn't behave. I remember my Film classes, all 3 years of it. How much that was my comfort zone, editing projects, talking to my friends, writing, and more talking. It feels right going back to school, I am actually very excited and hope to get into the communications department. I have looked into the study abroad program and will speak to an advisor monday. I think I might be heading to Germany... not sure what part or what exactly but all signs seem to be pointing there. My mom wasn't too fond of Germany so she told me if she visits she will meet me in Spain. :/. Sweden has a great program too but only for undergrads, and Denmark has a program where they send you to London for a few weeks to meet with people from media related segments and at the same time be in school in Copenhagen.

But going back to this, I believe there is a program/ fellowship, where I get to pick anywhere I want to go and do my research project. Any country. Apparently, the CEO of New Line Cinema did it. Funny, when I was an intern there I was so scared to even look at him and now I might be going down the same route as him. I am also seeing my options in the UK. So we shall see where this road leads me. I'll be gone from LA for a year or so. So any of my friends out there, I expect a visit of some sort. I am sure it will be hard to be alone and have no one. But I think this will help me become more independent. It has always been something i've wanted to do. Travel, live on my own, be at another country besides Mexico. I am not going to lie, I am scared the balls out of me! not seeing my family or friends, or the constant sunny weather, or the smell of pollution, or the taste of real Mexican food... but I think i'll be more mature and a better person. Germany would be interesting, hey even going to Sweden would be something... I just hope that overall it will be a positive experience and that I won't cry missing my mommy. and hopefully in the future I can end up saying, "I'm CEO bitch". (Social Network reference)

I realized there is a word I hate... Heartbroken. No no not because I felt it but because honestly it's a dumb word. I just think it sounds funny when you say it. Not that I am being in-sensitive, obviously i've use this word, but I think it makes me feel so weak. This is my advice kids out there who have had their hearts in the shits.... don't let it make you feel any lesser or weaker than what you really are. Keep your mind busy... there are still so many more things to do out there. Yeah feeling down happens, but technically your heart isn't broken... just busted for a few days or weeks. And hopefully there are people out there to bandage that up and keep you truckin. Funny as I write this my sister is watching the Shining. So hearing the scary music in the background is making me not take my words seriously haha.

Ok so i'll be leaving to Las Vegas in a few days. I will most def. write about my experience. I plan to be wasted from 5pm- 8am, and sleeping on the other hours. I am sure I will have a blast. Dresses aren't my thing but I guess all this will be a new experience. The shorter the more free drinks? Ha I am a lady, I would probably be too shy for this shit. Either way I am looking forward to it. Getting out of LA, making this a better week for me, and just travel somewhere new. I am not taking my Canon SLR, I don't think i'll be able to hold it. SO my point and shoot will have to do. I have started planning my trip to Europe, going solo or not, still not sure, but it will happen for me, crossing fingers. Berlin, Amsterdam, Vienna, Stockholm, Copenhagen are all on the list. Let's see how things roll with that too. Not going to discuss that part any further until I have my damn flight! Seriously you can't blame me for trying not too get too excited. I need to now be sure that stuff will happen before I start thinking about it too much in my head. Although my friend did invite me today to tag along for Disney world next year. That would be cool!

Ok here is a pic i took from the shoot today. Click it and it will link you straight to my Flickr.. Alrighty, I am going to go lay down. Super tired! BTW if you haven't seen this film called Talk to Her, please do. It was so good, from Spain. Have a good one everyone.

Life.

So what happened right? I hope my small video made some sense. I figured I should continue writing because this is what I like doing. Over the past few days 3 things consisted in my life....

1) Crying.

2) Talking shit and then making jokes.

3) Watching movies and eating Reese's pieces.

Maybe I shouldn't be so open about this stuff here or anywhere. But this is my life and I think someone out there will relate to me. Or hopefully feel that I get them. OK heartbreak is horrible. This is probably the genuinely second time in my life this has happened to me. And I don't like it, I don't think any of us do. But to be honest I am glad it happened now before anything else went further. I think when stuff like this happens, it helps you re analyze yourself again. Who you are, what you want, and what you should watch for next time. We don't expect this stuff all the time, so you gotta take these punches. I think the older you get the more easier stuff like this is to handle. I am an adult, been thru this stuff before. I had my day to cry and now I gotta keep moving forward. I am not trying to give myself a pity party, last thing I want. These are the experiences that teach you lessons and teach you about yourself, so you take it for what it is. Maybe I should re introduce myself. I feel like a different person, more mature in some sense. I mean i'll probably still make jokes here and there, I don't think my sarcasm will ever go away. So let me re-introduce myself:

1) My name is Deissy Flores Preciado I am 25, 5'7, Mexican-American.

2) I hate summer because it is too hot.

3) I want to write a book and call it the Vagina Chronicles: The dry season (take it for what you want but I think it's a great title!)

4) Most people don't think I am Mexican, let alone speak Spanish.

5) I am a pretty good cook.

6) no I don't think Casablanca is the best movie ever.

7) Elizabeth Taylor DIED?! WTF? Where have I been? Oh I know on the floor!

8) I am going to Las vegas for the first time this coming weekend.

9) I like to go to Target and talk with a British Accent.. seriously I don't know what is up with that one.

10) I blush easily.

11) I can't swim... so yeah what am I going to do if a tsunami hits LA.... well pretty much i am screwed.

12) I've lost about 30 pounds courtesy of running and hiking.

We all imagine our futures, we all make plans, and mine have changed. Not entirely but they have. As I mentioned I had this great trip planned. I thought I had these jobs in line. I thought I was going to be at another point in my life right now. And I am not. So here is my plan. Europe, School, Writing, moving away, writing, and that is all i can say for now. I don't want to plan or think ahead because that is not always good. I have to take things slow and one step. I want to go to summer school and enroll in French, German, Portuguese. Do some more photography because that is something I have truly fallen in love with. That has just become a part of my life that will never go away now. I am going to go to Europe on my own in Sept. and hang out. Do more photography, drink coffee, write, meet new people, take a break from L.A. Although I still have my beach camping trip in Santa Barbara planned at the end of April. Not sure if going to Europe on my own is a good idea but fuck it. I need to do this for myself. Can't hold up on my traveling dreams because no one can go with me. Traveling is something I simply love.

We all want to be loved, I know I do. But that isn't my focus, things like that just happen. I am glad to be going back to school, hopefully. I always loved it, so it will be nice to be back at my comfort zone. Too bad I only have a week to do my Grad application, I totally had lagged it. :/. Liking someone is always something. I think whether the situation turns bad or good, we all take something from it. I want to write about this stuff... i know i dont have much experience in this department but I think the fact that i don't is a good story line. I am glad that every time I talk I make most people laugh. Even when I am hurt, I still manage to have a sense of humor.. and honestly I think that makes me strong. That is a good quality and I am glad I have it. I think who ever I end up with will have a hard time having me behave. But I know they would adore me for that. My humor. I can't wait to have someone to share it with.

So with all this in mind, thanks to everyone who reached out to me. Yeah this stuff happens to everyone. And you move on and you take it for what it is. I am glad to see the amazing friendships I have and even though most of the time I was being sarcastic... Getting that hug after my joke was what I really needed.

BTW i just noticed.. I have readers from all over the world, ITALY!? and CANADA?! WTF? it's awesome.... I am sure who ever is reading this may think I must be some made up character.....

Anyway... this is my life, and i will continue to write. I think I have a whole new set of adventures coming up. And I am looking forward to them. I also know that with this heart break I do have a friend. It is nice to know that he cares about me... I do too. And I know we will be great friends. We have been for 6 years. And we will still be. Just takes time to heal and things like this will make us have a stronger bond. I think our friendship is important. It will take time for me to separate the romanticism I had in my mind. But I do know we were friends before this so it will get back to normal. But I must admit it's not easy and even though I may sound selfish, I am hurting too. I just can't wait to move on and be able to just be cool with each other.

Life is interesting. I told a friend earlier today, life is a box of bullshit, you really don't know what you are going to get. So what do I want for my life/ my future. I want a great job, I want to live somewhere new, I want to have a book, I want to have a family, I want to be hugged everyday, I want to be happy. I know it will happen. I just gotta let things roll. I am sure everyones life is full of stuff. I think we all handle it differently. Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves a hug. Anyway thanks for reading and we will see what happens next. I will be having lunch at the Paramount Lot on tuesday I hope. It is nice to get that reminder that I used to work in movies... I did have exciting times. So I know my life will continue to be interesting.

Anyway it is T-Shirt time (Jersey Shore, I know horrible... hey man at least now I know Italians can be worst than Mexicans at times.)

Bye for now

There are people in life you meet for a reason... Right? As I start writing this, it is 4:32 am. And there is so much i can say about how I feel right now. When we are kids we dream our futures to be a certain perfect way. When we are teenagers we dream the same thing, and when we are adults we still hope for that perfect dream. Sometimes life isn't what we plan... it literally is full of obstacles. So going back to my first sentence... we meet people for a reason. Each individual you come across has a reason. Whether to teach you a lesson, show you love, be your best friend in the world, or to hurt you, most people you have in your life make an impact to you.

I just got some news. And this news has changed my life entirely. I don't think I have ever had a moment like this. This is the stuff i see in movies. Yeah you think to yourself, how am I going to react if this happens to me. Well you are never prepared. And dammit was I not prepared. I am not going to say what happened to me. But it is enough of an impact that i have decided not to write on my blog for now. I don't know what will happen next in my life. I really don't. I had all these plans and ideas in my head, but now they are entirely gone down the drain. So I go back to... what is the reason I met this certain person? I wish I knew, I wish that person knew too.

I am going to be bummed for a few days, probably not be myself as much. I like to laugh, but right now i am hurt. So I apologize in advance if I am not myself for a while. I think we all go through similar situations in our lives. We can relate to each other. I guess it is a good thing that some things don't happen. Earlier today I heard a song and this line stood out... "the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again". God I had a feeling something was going to happen. Why is my gut always right?

I wish i could read the future, i wish i could take back a lot of things, i wish things were easier. But right now i am at a total lost again. I am sure things will be better some day. But for now we all need to allow ourselves to give time to heal and explore who we are. My life has changed, all my thoughts are irrelevant to the person I was 2 days ago. I am at a different moment right now. I don't know what to do next... i really don't. I wish i did. So now I have to focus entirely on my career and life. I think going to grad school and becoming a film professor would be good. I hope to get the chance to study abroad, and know me.

I might be taking a trip on my own somewhere. I need a breather. Then again i need the company of my closest friends now more than anything.

We all meet amazing people. We all meet someone we care for, someone we want in our lives forever. We all question, why me? Here i am. I am 25 years old and I think i have enough material to write a book.

I have met someone amazing in my life. And it breaks my heart to know that they won't be part of my life the way I wanted them to be. So now i feel that i am back to point A. I am going to hate hearing the I told you so's and so on. But that is life and we all go through our moments. I do want everyone to know I am fine. Will be fine. But I hope you can relate to me and understand that we all get sad.

So for now bid you farewell blog. I hope next time I write here it will be at happier times with great news. But for now, i think I need some time to heal. I didn't want to go weeks without writing without letting you know whats up. Anyway have a goodnight everyone.

Birthdays... Bring it April!

Today it is my brother's 23rd birthday... yeah i think 23rd?? 1988? whatever, point is he is getting old. I made some pad thai for lunch and I baked him a cake. He isn't a fan of cake, so my plan was to make him a giant chocolate chip cookie... couldn't find flour! So i

had to settle in making him a chocolate chip chocolate cake.... leave it to Pillsbury cake boxes to save the day! Then the icing tube I got was too thick.. made it difficult to write happy birthday so I settled for YAY Carlos. Still came out like crap though :/. I did spend most of my day in the kitchen, but it was nice to see everyone enjoy my cooking. I should become a chef and open up a taco place in Germany or something haha. As soon as I showed my bro the cake I made him he laughed... but he was more attentive towards Rocko's Modern life on TV over my cake! Told you he was an ass!

So let's see what can I say about my little brother, he is an ass at times, but one of my best friends. He and I are about 3 years apart, we have always been close, have had matching PJs as kids, shared each others candies, punch each other, argued, cried, laughed, always got me in trouble, made me wait after school because of the constant detention, and killed zombies together (that new Wii we got is AWESOME). I wish my little brother nothing but the best, he is a good kid who gets in trouble, but he is growing up a good person. So I am proud of my little brother. Wish he made better choices but hey he says the same about me all the time. Only person that I allow to call me anything and never be offended by. So Happy Birthday Carlos! We are ending the birthday night with some pizza and Reservoir Dogs. Such a great film.

Speaking of Birthdays, today is also Ethan's 2nd birthday. Ethan is one of my close friend's son. It is amazing to see how fast time goes by and how great parents both John and Laura are. He is an amazing little guy and it is surreal to me to watch him grow. I guess that is how life works right? The circle of life.

Birthdays are interesting. I think as you get older you don't celebrate them as much. Same ol' same ol'. For my birthday this year I have no plans. It is still a bit far away. I guess getting older is something surreal for me. I never imagined myself at 26. I've grown up a lot in a matter of a few years. It is amazing to also see the friends I have grown up with. How they have changed. I have friends who I have known since I was 8, 12, 15, 20, and even at this age of 25. Life is interesting. I always have considered birthdays as a new year... so when New Years happens, it is exciting, but I think Birthdays are were it is at. That is the beginning of a new year in life.

So it has been a busy weekend for me. I went to bed at 3:30 AM 2 nights in a row.

Friday I had gone to grab lunch with a close friend who i had not seen in months. It was nice to catch up and have Sushi. Went to this super cool sushi place, for a second it felt as if I wasn't in L.A. After work that day I met up with another friend for a super late dinner. You know when I was younger I used to go out a lot, to bars, clubs, or just stay up late with friends. Then I got busy with work, internships, school, and so on. But as we were sitting at the restaurant, I got a little bit of a flashback from the old days. I guess people were coming out of the clubs. It is something else to watch drunk people as you are sober. Many Grenades (Jersey Shore term). My friend and I had many laughs, the things people say are hilarious, leave it to them to make your night. Although I have been a dumb ass myself before. My friend even had a funny encounter. Now this may sound like a joke, but as she went to the restroom there were 2 lesbians and a straight girl who were talking about how she is confused about her sexuality. All these going down in the restroom line. I guess stuff like this happens. I do miss going out late at bars, but ever since hipsterville has taken over, I avoid it. But oh the memories live on. Although next weekend I shall be in Las Vegas... I am very much looking forward to April!!
Before April comes though, there is a photo shoot I am doing for my friend's brother... it is going to hopefully be very cinematic I hope. We are trying to do a 1920's gangster setting. Hopefully it comes out awesome and hopefully it doesn't rain that day.

Well I have a lot to expect in April. Can't believe it is already here. Las Vegas will come first, so that in itself will be a whole new experience. I can very much use a trip. I am still hoping to go somewhere this year. I am not sure where, maybe road trip will still happen, maybe Europe, NYC again, no idea. I just know I will go somewhere sometime soon. Summer is around the corner! But going back to April... ah the month of Easter...which I already have that day off from work; I have an all day photo shoot all over the city of L.A this month as well. And I am going camping at El Capitan by Santa Barbara. Camping right by the beach! I have always wanted to do this so this will be a first. I think this will sort of be a fix for the road trip I was supposed to have. I am excited for all the photography I will get to do. And all the sunburn I will get. Just hang out and sleep by the beach literally. It is awesome to live in a state full of things to do. Last time I went camping was Yosemite, with Rosanna and Jonathan... this time it will be them again. So I can't wait till the end of April! BTW happy first day of Spring everyone!!!

Alright, right now I am making another birthday card as we speak. Birthdays are coming left and right. Time is flying us by. There will always be good and bad moments, but life can be amazing. You fall in love, you learn so much, you explore, you live. I feel as being 26 will bring a lot of amazing changes, so even though that means I will be getting old. Being 26 is something I am very much looking forward too.

Btw it is freezing in L.A. today!!! Anyway when I was younger I loved The Cars... so I am glad to see they have new music out! Very excited, they haven't released a new album since 1987! Here is their new music video:

Being Mexican

Being brought up Mexican American in this country is something I tell you. I was at the grocery store with my mom the other day, just standing there. This older lady approaches me and asks me if I speak English. I told her Yes, she pulls me aside and wants me to help her explain what the make-up she was starring at does, how she wears it, and so on. This is the story of my life. As a child I always had to translate for my parents. Till this day I still do and sometimes it was a challenge and frustrating. I had to learn how to translate words, organize my sentence structure in both languages and pretty much learn to speak both without an accent for either language. Sometimes I still get stuck on a word in either language. But I think at the end of the day it has helped me improved my languages skills immensely. When I was a child I always watch Spanish TV. Till this day my dad still watches Soap Operas (Novelas), something my mom never has watched. So it is kind of funny to see my dad sit there and watch them. I remember watching Siempre Domingo and Sabado Gigante. I always read the Spanish Newspaper, La Opinion.

I remember going to Mexico every 2 years and being bored. My parents always reminding me to speak in Spanish so we wouldn't get ripped off at the store. And spending all my time bored at the Bull Riding events... yeah bored. Imagine seeing that everyday of the week for 3 weeks...?? it gets boring and it gets embarrassing when all your uncles are drunk out of their ass because of all the tequila... haha, but I do miss it. Hopefully I can visit Mexico soon. Here is a clip from the events this year from my mom's town in Jalisco...

The older I've gotten the more I have learn to appreciate both my cultures. American and Mexican. I don't really see myself as fully being one or the other. I speak both languages, I celebrate both holidays, i have dual citizenships in both countries and so on. Although just because I carry a Taco wallet around, doesn't mean I eat tacos all the time. I actually am not a bad eater. I made ground turkey tostadas, earlier today. With Jalapenos, lime juice, Pico de Gallo, Chipotle mix in sour cream and I must say it was hella good. That means I can cook! I always love listening to music as I cook or wash the dishes. I guess music is life.

So being any type of race is always interesting. You have so much more knowledge of cultures. Mexicans have a very strong culture. We have our Friday Kahlo, Salma Hayek, Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal, our Cactus, bull fighting, pyramids, our awesome food, fat mariachi guys, dads' with cool mustaches, and so on. Yeah, our culture is mix as well, many are from European decent or Indigenous. I remember being a kid, visiting my grandfather in Tlaxacala, Mexico. I had just finished my second yeah in German and as I was trying to be cool, I showed him some of my German. He looks at my dad and then looks back at me, starts speaking to me in Nahuatl http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nahuatl

I didn't feel cool anymore after that. Although, my grandfather was the only person I knew that spoke the native tongue. So there goes our culture. BTW the picture below is not my grandfather... I wish he was in the Revolution... then I could of heard awesome stories!

Point is being Mexican as being any other culture, is interesting. If I ever have kids, I hope to pass along some of my traditions and culture, both American and Mexican. There are times that we sometimes forget to appreciate who we are. Being born and raise in America can be a huge identity crisis. I think many people become Americanized and forget who they are or where they come from. Our values become different, sometimes for the better sometimes for the worst. I have gone through my identity crisis.. what am I? Mexican or American? I am both. And for the rest of my life I will be both. I'll stand for the pledge of allegiance, cheer for Mexico in the world cup (Damn you Argentina!), eat chocolate chip cookies, and curse in Spanish. That is who I am and who I will always be. I guess that is the beauty of being multi culture... there is always so much to learn and share. For example, I just learned that one of Diego Rivera's (Famous Mexican painter married to Frida Kahlo) ex wives was from the town next to where my mom is from and her last name was Preciado... go figure!

I know Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem aren't Mexican... but so far that is the closest a Mexican will get at an Oscar for a while :/. Still they both always bring out great performances! Loved Vicky Christina Barcelona!







Ok changing topics, I think today I applied to a gazillion jobs. No joke. I had not taken the time to apply for work until today. I normally avoid applying for a job for the fear of rejection. I am not sure why all of a sudden I am so concern about that. It is a tough world right now, so I guess in some way it is normal to get rejected? So hopefully I find something. i am assuming it is going to take me over 6 months to find something stable.... or any kind of job really. I am really bored being at one job... So I have re-polished my resume and send it out. There are so many companies out there, so many positions. I just hope I find something. Ideally in the movie world. But it would be great to do something in photography... let's see how things roll. And to Jorge... I will build my portfolio! I am taking your word and we are doing business :).

I have been spending some time watching movies. Last night I was watching Natural Born Killers... I fell asleep half way :/... So i'll try and finish the rest today. Trippy dream I had though! I wish I could write a movie like Quentin Tarantino. Next week I am watching Paul and catching up with my old college friend Laura. Should be nice, a movie in Hollywood. Seriously only an Angelino can really say that.

AT&T keeps sending me letters that I won 2 Androids... Uh I don't care! I want my iPhone! I am going to wait till the iPhone 5 comes out. Might as well. I don't think ill ever go back to windows... Apple all the way!

Alright I really have to pee... have a good one everyone.