Life.

So what happened right? I hope my small video made some sense. I figured I should continue writing because this is what I like doing. Over the past few days 3 things consisted in my life....

1) Crying.

2) Talking shit and then making jokes.

3) Watching movies and eating Reese's pieces.

Maybe I shouldn't be so open about this stuff here or anywhere. But this is my life and I think someone out there will relate to me. Or hopefully feel that I get them. OK heartbreak is horrible. This is probably the genuinely second time in my life this has happened to me. And I don't like it, I don't think any of us do. But to be honest I am glad it happened now before anything else went further. I think when stuff like this happens, it helps you re analyze yourself again. Who you are, what you want, and what you should watch for next time. We don't expect this stuff all the time, so you gotta take these punches. I think the older you get the more easier stuff like this is to handle. I am an adult, been thru this stuff before. I had my day to cry and now I gotta keep moving forward. I am not trying to give myself a pity party, last thing I want. These are the experiences that teach you lessons and teach you about yourself, so you take it for what it is. Maybe I should re introduce myself. I feel like a different person, more mature in some sense. I mean i'll probably still make jokes here and there, I don't think my sarcasm will ever go away. So let me re-introduce myself:

1) My name is Deissy Flores Preciado I am 25, 5'7, Mexican-American.

2) I hate summer because it is too hot.

3) I want to write a book and call it the Vagina Chronicles: The dry season (take it for what you want but I think it's a great title!)

4) Most people don't think I am Mexican, let alone speak Spanish.

5) I am a pretty good cook.

6) no I don't think Casablanca is the best movie ever.

7) Elizabeth Taylor DIED?! WTF? Where have I been? Oh I know on the floor!

8) I am going to Las vegas for the first time this coming weekend.

9) I like to go to Target and talk with a British Accent.. seriously I don't know what is up with that one.

10) I blush easily.

11) I can't swim... so yeah what am I going to do if a tsunami hits LA.... well pretty much i am screwed.

12) I've lost about 30 pounds courtesy of running and hiking.

We all imagine our futures, we all make plans, and mine have changed. Not entirely but they have. As I mentioned I had this great trip planned. I thought I had these jobs in line. I thought I was going to be at another point in my life right now. And I am not. So here is my plan. Europe, School, Writing, moving away, writing, and that is all i can say for now. I don't want to plan or think ahead because that is not always good. I have to take things slow and one step. I want to go to summer school and enroll in French, German, Portuguese. Do some more photography because that is something I have truly fallen in love with. That has just become a part of my life that will never go away now. I am going to go to Europe on my own in Sept. and hang out. Do more photography, drink coffee, write, meet new people, take a break from L.A. Although I still have my beach camping trip in Santa Barbara planned at the end of April. Not sure if going to Europe on my own is a good idea but fuck it. I need to do this for myself. Can't hold up on my traveling dreams because no one can go with me. Traveling is something I simply love.

We all want to be loved, I know I do. But that isn't my focus, things like that just happen. I am glad to be going back to school, hopefully. I always loved it, so it will be nice to be back at my comfort zone. Too bad I only have a week to do my Grad application, I totally had lagged it. :/. Liking someone is always something. I think whether the situation turns bad or good, we all take something from it. I want to write about this stuff... i know i dont have much experience in this department but I think the fact that i don't is a good story line. I am glad that every time I talk I make most people laugh. Even when I am hurt, I still manage to have a sense of humor.. and honestly I think that makes me strong. That is a good quality and I am glad I have it. I think who ever I end up with will have a hard time having me behave. But I know they would adore me for that. My humor. I can't wait to have someone to share it with.

So with all this in mind, thanks to everyone who reached out to me. Yeah this stuff happens to everyone. And you move on and you take it for what it is. I am glad to see the amazing friendships I have and even though most of the time I was being sarcastic... Getting that hug after my joke was what I really needed.

BTW i just noticed.. I have readers from all over the world, ITALY!? and CANADA?! WTF? it's awesome.... I am sure who ever is reading this may think I must be some made up character.....

Anyway... this is my life, and i will continue to write. I think I have a whole new set of adventures coming up. And I am looking forward to them. I also know that with this heart break I do have a friend. It is nice to know that he cares about me... I do too. And I know we will be great friends. We have been for 6 years. And we will still be. Just takes time to heal and things like this will make us have a stronger bond. I think our friendship is important. It will take time for me to separate the romanticism I had in my mind. But I do know we were friends before this so it will get back to normal. But I must admit it's not easy and even though I may sound selfish, I am hurting too. I just can't wait to move on and be able to just be cool with each other.

Life is interesting. I told a friend earlier today, life is a box of bullshit, you really don't know what you are going to get. So what do I want for my life/ my future. I want a great job, I want to live somewhere new, I want to have a book, I want to have a family, I want to be hugged everyday, I want to be happy. I know it will happen. I just gotta let things roll. I am sure everyones life is full of stuff. I think we all handle it differently. Everyone deserves to be happy. Everyone deserves a hug. Anyway thanks for reading and we will see what happens next. I will be having lunch at the Paramount Lot on tuesday I hope. It is nice to get that reminder that I used to work in movies... I did have exciting times. So I know my life will continue to be interesting.

Anyway it is T-Shirt time (Jersey Shore, I know horrible... hey man at least now I know Italians can be worst than Mexicans at times.)