So Far.

I haven't done much writing in the past few days. I like to say I have been in a slump? Family can really stress you out let's just say. And other little things that have been going on that I am processing in my head. So I am trying to snap out of it and here I am. Over the past few days I have felt very sarcastic. So excuse my sarcasm, but I know it is actually made some of you laugh. I think I need to start writing the nonsense I say.

I have this co-worker, some of you may know her and may soon realized who I am speaking about, Kristina. Now this kid is probably the most genuinely nicest person, positive, friendly, talkative person I know. Reason I bring her up is because she is one of the few people that kept telling me to smile. And when I tried to fuck around with some joke or sarcasm, she will go along and i guess for lack of better words, feed my ego, but then she remind me to stop and be happy, but for real. I think I want to be her when I grow up... although she is younger than me.

I think we all go thru periods in our lives where we lose motivation, ourselves, our goals, our thoughts and so on. We forget what made us happy and let it go. Sometimes we give up. I went running yesterday and was upset I only did 3 miles! Then again it was too hot. Point is, I guess I am trying to just snap out of my weird funk. It happens I suppose. So far here is something I will not do, plan anything ahead of 2 months? Let's see how far that goal goes. I am a planner.

In 2 weeks I am off camping. It will be nice to just breath the ocean water and get away. Not constantly be thinking I suppose. And then I am set to buy my flight to Europe. I am freaking out because I am actually going to do it. Most people I talk about this trip too are very 1) amazed I am doing this, 2) tell me I should do it, 3) call everyday to make sure I am alive, 4) Watch the movie Taken before I go... Uh no. Anyway I guess it is happening, now is it a mistake that I am going? Why would it be? This is for me and for me only. I am the one that will be hanging out with myself and doing what I want. Ha I am starting to sound like a crazy person. It should be an interesting experience. Two weeks go by so fast and then when I come back it is back to "normal life". And hopefully something else that will be equally exciting will be on it's way. I better get into Grad School.

Anyway yesterday I went to Santa Monica. I used to go there often. It has been a long time, but I know the area pretty well. Just hung out by the beach, talked to my friends and then went out for some beers. It is always interesting to go to bars and observe how older men prowl on women and try to pick up on them. It is entertaining as hell. Lovely weather in L.A. to stay in. Today I was supposed to go out to this new exhibit http://www.moca.org/museum/exhibitiondetail.php?id=443 about street art in L.A. But since it is opening today I think I am going to hold of on it for tomorrow. Crowds!

I think one of the things that freaks me out is seeing how fast time is going by. We are already heading to May. Can't believe that a few months ago I was expecting something totally different. Oh well that is how life rolls. By June it will be something totally different.

I think I need help for my addiction on my iphone. I literally love it and hug it. haha. Well I hugged it yesterday. Anyway I am off, Grandma is actually visiting from Mexico! Good because I won't go over there.

Europe

Some of these pictures are from my Trip to Barcelona in 2009.

Looking for flights is overwhelming. Too overwhelming that I was pretty close to buying my flight this week and getting it over with. I actually have decided to buy my flight next week. I am as of right now considering going to Stockholm, Copenhagen, and Berlin. A friend of mine had given me great pointers about traveling. Her boyfriend lives in Germany, Kiel I believe is the name of the place, close to Hamburg. She was kind enough to offer his help in guiding me around. So I am glad I have an option on not being alone.

I am not going to lie, I am scared the shit out of me to go there and be alone. I don't know what to expect, but I am excited to see something new and to get away. As of right now i'll be heading out there August 23- Sept. 6. A long time huh? I have no idea what I am going to do, how i'll get around, so I hope I can get a few more pointers. I promised my friend and mom to call them as much as I could, since i'll be alone they worry. I can't blame them. But this will probably make me more independent. I hope to have a bit of self- discovery. So the question is, me going to Europe alone... does it make me brave or stupid? If you answer this, please be nice? haha. I have been reading articles on traveling alone and so on. I hope to meet new people, learn something new, breath clean air. I know once I buy my flight, i can't chicken out. And it is set and done. I think when I think about this trip my heart beats fast... fuck. FUCK!! Thinking about it now is making me nervous. But I might have some interesting blog postings. And maybe i'll inspire someone out there to go and do something adventurous. Because right now this will probably be the most daring thing i'll do... I will never sky dive, scared of heights! I won't eat Bull balls, I won't even get on a roller coaster... so this trip is a big deal. Europe is a wonderful continent, full of beautiful countries. I appreciate the diversity there is and the history there is to learn. But it still doesn't mean I am not scared. Anyway if anyone has any pointers on how to go about things I would greatly appreciate them.

So I finally got my iPhone 4! I tingle a little. I was very excited and still am... not sure if it was the best investment of my life, but it makes me so happy. I just want to rub my face on its' smooth screen. I love it. Although i'll miss my old phone, I can play Angry Chickens! (Ok Angry Birds, but those look like chickens to me... if they are capable of flying why to I need to Sling Shoot them?) There are so many awesome Apps... I think I need more... I am open for suggestions on these, please!

On a serious note, I was thinking about a few things over the past few days. Love. What it means to some, how you know you are in love? when do you know you aren't? Does everyone get to feel it? Is it really true that you can close yourself to the opportunity of it? No I am not in love. But I was watching this older couple argue a few days ago and it made me think, with all that argument going on, at the end of the day can they really be without each other? If people divorce, why did they get married in the first place? What keeps them together and what makes them give up? I know I am going into deep shit right now... but I have obviously had a lot of time in my hands. :/ But if you meet someone who gets you, why let them go? I guess I don't understand any of this. I hope this couple that was arguing makes it thru. I hate seeing marriages fall apart. Everyone deserves to be happy, especially with their significant other. So many experiences to share with your best friend, why would you want to lose that?

This is going to sound weird, but a few days ago I had a dream that I got married. It was weird shit! I was marrying some random dude and my aunt goes up to me and asks me, do you love him? And I said nope. She then asked why are you marrying him? And I said I don't know I thought that is what you do when you grow up. She then said... "no, you marry when you love someone and if there is someone that makes you happy that is who you should be with." I stupidly responded "ohhhhhh". Weird huh!? OK I am going to shut up on the serious stuff.

Anyway, I want sushi now. HA talk about random.

In a few weeks i'll be off to my camping trip. Get some nature in me. I have always loved camping. Never gone to the beach to camp so I hope it will be fun. Will probably be a total opposite of my Las Vegas trip. But it will be nice to get away. I am not going to lie, I feel the need of something exciting. I think Europe will be my fix. AAHHHHH!!! I AM SCARED! I think i am even more scared to turn 26 in 2 months! AY DIOS MIO!

Las Vegas Recap

The last 2 weeks have been the weirdest weeks of my life. I had been writing all week in the most random pieces of papers for my personal statement. I had to finish my grad school application before going to Las Vegas. Even though I was feeling down the week prior, I had to snap out of it and continue moving forward. So emotionally I might be suppressing some feelings. Either way, I am glad to have completed that application, now it is a matter of waiting and I am scared. I hope I get in, otherwise I have to make a new plan. I think if anything over the last 2 weeks I have been inspired. Anyway let me do a Recap of Las Vegas...

The drive there wasn't bad.. it was hot. 90 degree weather in Southern California in April. Screw the rain right? We got to the city pretty fast. It was sort of surreal. This the city of Sin. So many amazing buildings in the middle of nowhere. Vegas is mostly desert. Nothing like Los Angeles. And gas is cheaper too! WTF!?

Saturday night was amazing.. i guess one of the most epic nights of my life to date. We headed out to Ceasars Palace's club, Pure. Seriously one thing I did learn from Las Vegas is that it is full of horny men. No offense guys, but it felt that everywhere you walked, you were checked out. Amazing. Anyway that club was amazing. I am not sure if you have seen the Hangover but we literally had an amazing view like in the film. So many people, so much alcohol. This was the best part of the whole nice... a free bottle of Moet Champagne. The waitress approached me handed it to me and i refused. Had no idea what was going on, then she told me it is ours. Whatever man, we drank that shit on the dance floor. Then I don't remember the rest of that Saturday.... haha.

Sunday we chilled by the pool, it was kind of cold, so we just slept and hung out. Of course some dudes were talking up a storm... they were actually nice, from Brooklyn, NY. But all I wanted was to sleep. No hangover, just sleep. I can't really say much about Sunday... haha. It wasn't bad. But I guess some things do stay in Vegas? Although that night there were so many people everywhere. It was amazing. Went to bed at 5am. I feel too old now. I don't think I can hang. ha.

The Sahara was a nice hotel not bad, too bad it is closing down. With all the history it has. Now for Sunday, we went to Champagne Brunch and some Black Jack. Money goes so fast...

So my over all opinion on Las Vegas, it is a great city, a weird city, a pervy city, a good time. Yeah I would go again for sure. But now that i have been there I can scratch that off my list. It is funny, I feel like I was more inspired there. I know exactly what to write about on my new project, I know the title, I was so eager to come home and write. So that was good. Of course there was some stuff in my mind constantly, so it was good to have many distractions. I went with a great group of girls, who did Vegas well. So this for sure was a great experience. Make sure to bring another per of shoes to a club, because those heels will kill you!

So as we were driving back to LA, one thing was on my mind. What next? I will be leaving again in about 2-3 weeks camping off to Santa Barbara, El Capitan. That will be a total different trip compared to Las Vegas. Some photography, relaxing, and probably a lot of thinking. I am excited for it. I have always enjoyed camping and I wouldn't have to wear heels! But after that trip I have to make that major decision, buying my trip to Europe and possibly heading out there on my own. Now one thing that keeps coming across my mind is, whether this is a good idea or a bad one. I really don't know, but I can't let fear and the fact that I might not have company, stop me from seeing something new. Right? As you can see I flip flop on this a lot. But May will be Europe planning time. A whole new experience on my way.

Not to sound cocky, but I think I have grown up a lot in the past few weeks. The way I react to certain situations, my behavior and so on have become very passive. Not that I don't care but some stuff is out of our hands so there is no point in freaking out or trying to take control. Anyway I have to go with an advisor later on today and see about studying abroad. Tomorrow i have a dentist appointment...:( Ugh ever since I had braces I hated the dentist. Well i'll see how the rest of the week pans out. I hope to get my iPhone 4 this week... yeah I can't wait, I need that NOW! Hope everyone is OK. I am going to attempt and unpack.