Bye for now

There are people in life you meet for a reason... Right? As I start writing this, it is 4:32 am. And there is so much i can say about how I feel right now. When we are kids we dream our futures to be a certain perfect way. When we are teenagers we dream the same thing, and when we are adults we still hope for that perfect dream. Sometimes life isn't what we plan... it literally is full of obstacles. So going back to my first sentence... we meet people for a reason. Each individual you come across has a reason. Whether to teach you a lesson, show you love, be your best friend in the world, or to hurt you, most people you have in your life make an impact to you.

I just got some news. And this news has changed my life entirely. I don't think I have ever had a moment like this. This is the stuff i see in movies. Yeah you think to yourself, how am I going to react if this happens to me. Well you are never prepared. And dammit was I not prepared. I am not going to say what happened to me. But it is enough of an impact that i have decided not to write on my blog for now. I don't know what will happen next in my life. I really don't. I had all these plans and ideas in my head, but now they are entirely gone down the drain. So I go back to... what is the reason I met this certain person? I wish I knew, I wish that person knew too.

I am going to be bummed for a few days, probably not be myself as much. I like to laugh, but right now i am hurt. So I apologize in advance if I am not myself for a while. I think we all go through similar situations in our lives. We can relate to each other. I guess it is a good thing that some things don't happen. Earlier today I heard a song and this line stood out... "the only way her heart will mend is when she learns to love again". God I had a feeling something was going to happen. Why is my gut always right?

I wish i could read the future, i wish i could take back a lot of things, i wish things were easier. But right now i am at a total lost again. I am sure things will be better some day. But for now we all need to allow ourselves to give time to heal and explore who we are. My life has changed, all my thoughts are irrelevant to the person I was 2 days ago. I am at a different moment right now. I don't know what to do next... i really don't. I wish i did. So now I have to focus entirely on my career and life. I think going to grad school and becoming a film professor would be good. I hope to get the chance to study abroad, and know me.

I might be taking a trip on my own somewhere. I need a breather. Then again i need the company of my closest friends now more than anything.

We all meet amazing people. We all meet someone we care for, someone we want in our lives forever. We all question, why me? Here i am. I am 25 years old and I think i have enough material to write a book.

I have met someone amazing in my life. And it breaks my heart to know that they won't be part of my life the way I wanted them to be. So now i feel that i am back to point A. I am going to hate hearing the I told you so's and so on. But that is life and we all go through our moments. I do want everyone to know I am fine. Will be fine. But I hope you can relate to me and understand that we all get sad.

So for now bid you farewell blog. I hope next time I write here it will be at happier times with great news. But for now, i think I need some time to heal. I didn't want to go weeks without writing without letting you know whats up. Anyway have a goodnight everyone.